Yesterday, I felt really disappointed in myself because I ate waaaay beyond my calorie count yet I didn’t get to workout as much as I should. I was beating myself up mentally until I saw older photos of me on Facebook.
I was thinner. I was younger. My arms were definitely smaller and I definitely looked healthier.
When I saw that photo, I was so surprised… Not because I managed to look that small, but because I specifically remembered being super insecure about my weight back then. I remember I kept thinking I was too big or too fat or that my metabolism was so low. I didn’t last in any attempts at running and I was definitely far from flexible during stretching exercises.
It’s funny because it just shows that no matter what weight class I was in, I always thought I was too big and I couldn’t do anything about it.
But it wasn’t as bad as I thought. In fact, the old me who was way more insecure than the “me” today, looked better and healthier.
I guess it just goes to show that regardless of whatever weight I could get myself in, I should always learn to love my body. It’s a fascinating piece of work. I could make it stronger or I could remain weak. Either way – small or big, strong or weak – my size wouldn’t matter if I don’t learn to love myself and my body. If I keep beating up myself because I “need” to be a certain weight and if I kept telling myself that my body isn’t good enough, then it would never be good enough even if I do achieve that weight goal. I’ll always think there’s something wrong with me and my body even though the truth is there’s nothing wrong with it.
A negative mindset is the most difficult mindset to get out of. It challenges you, yes, but it also consistently makes you feel dissatisfied and unhappy.
In this short lifetime, why should we intentionally make ourselves unhappy?
So, I’m cutting myself some slack. I could eat however and whatever I want… But just in moderation and always with exercise.
The trick, though, is to always keep in mind that I have to enjoy what I’m doing. I’m doing this for myself and I have to make sure I enjoy the journey just as much as I look forward to the goal.