We shouldn’t really concern ourselves with having children, but rather be more concerned about having more parents for the millions of children who have no families of their own.
This is an interesting perspective I gained after talking to a friend last night.
This friend of mine is trying his best to live happily despite a very rocky family relationship. And since I, too, came from a family whose parents can’t be together, we decided to have a heart-to-heart talk about life and all its intricacies – most especially on the effects of familial separation on a child’s psycho-social growth.
The real discussion came about when I asked:
“Do you ever wish to have children in the future – so you could provide them with the family you never had?”
I expected the typical answer, my own answer –
“Yes, because children – my children – deserve the happiness and love I could never have. I plan to make it different, that they never experience the pain that we went through when our parents separated.“
That’s what most people who have been in our situation may say.
But he answered differently. He said that he initially thought of things that way. After all, who wouldn’t want to have children of their own and provide them with the love and care that you wish you could experience but could never have? But after a few months of thinking, he decided that having children does not seem to be a part of his priorities in life.
Why? Because there are still a lot more children out there who have no parents. Why have children of your own when your sole reason for doing so is to provide them with the love and attention you never had, when you could just pour those out to the children who never met their real parents and spare them the horrible trauma you experienced?
When I listened to him, I thought that maybe having children of your own is a form of selfishness. You deprive the many children out there of the chance to feel loved because instead of helping them, you continue ignoring them (just like most people who never try to do anything) and pour out the love and care they are yet to experience on children that are yet to exist. Why think of children who are not born yet when there are already children out there who need more attention?
I’m not writing this post just because my heart has been moved by that discussion. I’m not posting this just because people need to read it. I am posting this because it helps make people think. And most of all, because I have a stand.
You see, in the Philippines – there is a bill that is yet to be approved simply because of conflicting politics between the country’s two supreme authorities: the government and religion. While the constitution provides that these two be separate and should never govern each other or involve the decision-making of each, as a strongly religious country, the Philippines considers the opinion of the church as a priority. The only sad reality here is, politics can never separate itself from religion – and what the church dictates as wrong can never be argued or disregarded by the government because most of the politicians have reached their current positions by support of the churches that endorsed them.
The bill, called the Reproductive Health Bill, is yet to be approved because the Catholic church simply condemns it.
The bill simply proposes that Filipinos should practice safer sex and family planning – promoting the use of condoms – in order to help limit the size of a family. This is an effort by the government to help limit the growing overpopulation in the country by educating more people (especially those in rural areas) of the effects of overpopulation and the cons of having too many children. This is an important bill, especially since overpopulation is equated to poverty. This is an attempt to alleviate the country’s development.
But why does the Roman Catholic church (in the country) condone it? Because they argue that it does not give children who could be born the chance to live. They argue that condoms should not be used or encouraged and that the RH Bill is anti-life.
But, personally, I believe the church should stop condoning the bill and should, instead, support it. The RH bill is not anti-life. It helps Filipinos have a chance to grow more because more families could provide more for a small family instead of providing for a very large family with the little amount of money they could get from work.
Instead of condoning the bill because it limits the number of babies that could be born in an already overpopulated country, and risking the nation’s development because the already-limited resources will be depleted all the more to provide for a speedily growing nation, they should just as well think about helping our country’s growth by advocating for MORE PARENTS INSTEAD OF MORE CHILDREN. THERE ARE ALREADY TOO MANY UNCARED CHILDREN IN THE PHILIPPINES ALONE. WE SHOULD AS WELL STOP CONCERNING OURSELVES ABOUT ADDING MORE.
To be truly pro-life, support in the care of these children instead of advocating for more. I am not saying we should limit the chances of children yet-to-be-born their chance to live. I am saying we should focus our attention more on the children who are already born and are not given the proper attention, love and care they deserve.
I believe this should be something everyone should be thinking about. With the threat of overpopulation getting in the way of development and the increasing numbers of broken families in our current generation, people should start thinking about what is wrong and how we could find ways to solve these problems. The problems have been identified, and more are coming. It’s time we start doing something about it.
This is, of course, just my opinion. Considering that this is a very controversial issue, I am aware that they may be others who think differently – and I respect that. I just hope we could all get to a proper understanding before all these debates leave us with very little time left to actually do something about it.
Think of children like them who have no idea about all these arguments we waste our time on, and the limited action there is to actually help them. They are, and should, always be our priorities because they are, and will still be, Filipinos.